09/21/2005: "Story Ideas"

A few people who have read the collection have asked me about the stories. Not about where I came up the ideas, exactly---this is the question I'm told writers are asked most often, to the point that they start coming up with silly answers (Stephen King, for example, says he sends away for his ideas in the mail, then grows them in an aquarium like Sea Monkeys)---but more did any of my stories have their basis in my own real life experiences. One person asked had I ever been to a dogfight. Another asked had I ever boxed. Another wondered had I ever been a repo-man, or ever been friends with one. Another asked if I'd ever been on the set of a pornographic movie. Some of the questions were posed in a jokey tone, as though the questioner was only half-serious, but underneath I could sense a sincere curiosity.

I think part of the interest stems from the fact that I don't seem at all like my characters when you meet me in person. I think some people who've read the stories expect, when first meeting me, to see some knuckle-scarred Cro-Magnon Troglodyte lurch into the room. And while I'm somewhat troglodytic, I clean up okay, smell pretty nice, possess the requisite social graces, don't make a habit of flying into fits of blind rage, etcetera. In fact, a few times I've even gotten the sense that whoever I'm meeting is somewhat UPSET by my un-cavemanlike demeanor. So maybe it's something I need to work on. Maybe I'll show up to readings barechested with a bearskin pelt girding my loins. We'll see.

Anyway, to answer the question as to whether or not my stories come from real life experience---yes, they do. I have been to several dog fights, usually just after a spirited round of seal clubbing to "get my motor running." And not only have I visited the set of many a porno movie, I have in fact worked in them: first as a gaffer, then as a best boy, later as a sound tech, then finally on a walk-on role as "The Saucy Plumber." My line was, "I'm told you have a pipe that requires snaking, ma'am," then the base guitar kicked in: Oom-chaka-oom-chaka-oom-woah-waooooh... My screen credit was "Johnny Rapier." True story.

Okay, so none of that is true. The whole truth of the matter is, no, I haven't been to a dog fight. No, I have not been on the set of a porno movie. No, I have never been a repo man. I did join a boxing gym, and participated in all the training and the rigorous regimen. The rest of it, though...I don't think I could handle a dog fight. No way. I guess I wouldn't mind being a repo man; I might enjoy stealing people's stuff. I think it's every man's fantasy at some point in their life to be an adult film star (a "workin' dick" as they're known in the skin flick biz), enjoy all that businesslike sex, but maybe I'm past my prime on that front.

So there you have. The whole story.

---Craig.

Replies: 9 Comments

on Tuesday, October 4th, Eric Vondran said

Good morning one and all,

Just thought you'd like to know that in the October issue of SickAmongthePure (www.sickamongthepure.com) we've reviewed Rust and Bone.

http://www.sickamongthepure.com/files/2005/10/16_reading/reading.html

Have a great day,
Eric

on Tuesday, October 4th, Eric Vondran said

on Friday, September 23rd, Nancy said

Apparently, the calendar at the School of Graduate Studies is not from 2005. That's not even a joke! So, basically, ignore everything I have written up till now.

on Friday, September 23rd, Nancy said

Hey Saucy Plumber,
Me again. I just tried doing that thing called "reading" and noticed that you will actually be in at 10pm on Saturday. So, should you want to go out for some sort of beverage despite the late hour (we may have trouble keeping Dave awake), I suppose we could do it then!

on Friday, September 23rd, Nancy said

Hey Craig, I feel as if I should type this same sentence 17 times to fit in with the last blog. Good to hear that you'll be ready to trip the light fantastic on Oct. 4th (aka Sunday). The big night in F-town. I can only hope something, somewhere will be open. Maybe some classy late night poutine at the Diplomat? It's either that or hanging out on the walking bridge (always a good time). Alas, your old apartment is now inhabited by aliens (to the English program, not the universe). I'm sure that we can get tassles out for the night. As a matter of fact, I'll email him right now.

on Friday, September 23rd, Tex said

No, it's Kitchener. Shauna's at Wilfrid Laurier in Waterloo. I'm at the School of Unemployment in Sketchener. Then again, 'different' as Kitchener is, it's probably not as gun-ridden as Windsor, and I'm down with that.

Yeah, I said d'oh when I heard you'd be in Fton after I left. Oh well, Dave and I are the same person. Gotta write that guy a letter.

R

on Thursday, September 22nd, craig davidson said

Hey Brett,

Dude, it would have to be cheap, because I'm tremendously poor. It's largely because all that porno-actor money isn't coming in anymore. Anyway, when I see you next month in Toronto, we should talk about it, because, yeah, it's probably a good idea.

Ryan m'man,

Hope Windsor's going great (it is Windsor, no?), and that you're settling in nicely up there. I thought I was going to see you in the Fred, but then I heard you'd made like a tree. I can't wait to see Dave there, and ask him a bunch of affirmative questions, to hear the classic PEI "yeah, yeah," like a boated flounder gasping for breath.

Best, Craig

on Thursday, September 22nd, Tex said

"Throw it down, big man!" That's what Bill Walton said when I called him to tell him about your new book. And when I said that it had porno stories in it, he said "Go for the dunk shot!"

I figured you'd beat us all to the punch in getting a book out. Because it *was* a competition, you know. You can expect $.14 in the mail next week. But in all honesty, congrats, Rust and Bone is officially tops on my Books to Read list.

So you're in Iowa. Isn't that where Napoleon Dynamite is set? Maybe that's Idado. Idunno. Hope it's, um, safe. Here's my answer to your downstairs neighbour who sniffs/gets allergic when you pass by: just say 'yeah, yeah' quietly, while intaking your breath. It's the Island way.

Glad to hear you're doing well, and keep these funny posts coming. (Shameless plug for my own blog: dogvocab.blogspot.com).

Ryan

on Thursday, September 22nd, Brett said

Thanks for the enlightenment, Craig! I was actually going to ask you some of those very same questions, so now I don't have to! When you get a website up and running (you really should do that, you know; I could do one for you, and I work relatively cheap), this can be the first Q&A in the FAQ section.

Cheers, bro!