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February 2006
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02/01/2006: "Mini Update"



A few things that have happened lately, all writing related.

First, I am out of the running in the Journey Prize. Apparently the judges don't really dig stories about alcoholic nursing home workers with snuff film fetishes. Go figure. But the good news is that Barb Romanik, a great writer and former UNB alum, is still in the running. I urge all my fellow UNB alums to center all your good karmic energies upon her, so she can vanquish her competitors! Actually, that's not fair to the other two finalists, both of whom I suspect are good folk. But still---gooooooo Barb!

FINALISTS:

1.Krista Bridge (Toronto, ON)

For “A Matter of Firsts”

Published in Descant (Toronto, ON)

2. Barbara Romanik (Edmonton, AB)

For “Seven Ways into Chandigarh”

Published by The Malahat Review (Victoria, BC)

3. Matt Shaw (Toronto, ON)

For “Matchbook for a Mother’s Hair”

Published by Exile: The Literary Quarterly (Toronto, ON)



Secondly, I was very pleased to see some recent developments on the pseudonym front. The other day the editor for Cemetery Dance, horror's premier mag (to my thinking) got in touch to say he'd be taking my story DEAD MONEY for a future issue. This is only really of note because the story also won a writing award at my old university, and it tickles me that the academic faculty gave the award to a story that now goes on to see publication in a gaudy horror mag. Up yours, literati! No, that's not very nice; I liked the faculty, but it does give me some odd pleasure. A tingle, if you will.

Thirdly, my film agent is no longer James Frey's agent. I imagine she was too busy fielding offers for RUST AND BONE to deal with Frey's shenanigans anymore. I imagine the phone call went something like this:

AGENT: Frey? K to the E here. Listen, I gotta let you go, baby.

JAMES: Ah, jeez.

AGENT: Hey, that's the way the ole cookie crumbles babe. I got this hot young talent, Davidson, and I'm riding his ass to the top!

JAMES: Ah, jeez.

AGENT: Yep, that's right---a student filmmaker offered me seven bucks in rolled pennies and a bag of microwave popcorn for his whole collection. I took it, as it was the best offer I'd heard. Well, it was actually a coupon REDEEMABLE for a bag of microwave popcorn. Still, I snapped it up. And it's only the tip of the iceburg. The TIP, I tell you!

JAMES: Ah...ah, jeez. You know the other day I got into a fight with three neo-nazis...

AGENT: Stop it, James. Stop lying.

JAMES: ...and it was like, I really decked 'em and laid 'em out good...

AGENT: Please, just...just stop.

JAMES: ... and then I like, sprouted wings, celestial angelic wings, and rose through the clouds in a pillar of warm beatific light...

AGENT: Listen, I gotta let you go, baby. Bonne journee and all that. Catch you on the flipside!


Actually, I cannot say with any certainty that's how the conversation went; I'm sure it was handled much more compassionately, and my name was never mentioned. Still, I stand behind the essential truth of the story.

All best, Craig.


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on Sunday, February 5th, Nancy said

Oh no! I forgot--I want to add my cheers and zen-like mastery of ESP support to Barb's nomination. GO BARB!!!

on Sunday, February 5th, Nancy:) said

Here's a random anecdote inspired by Ian's Stephen Harper comment. As a matter of fact, here's two. First, and not really by definition an anecdote, John Stewart discussing our new Prime Minister on The Daily Show: "Now that Canada's elected Bush-North all the Americans backpacking in Europe will want to trade in for smaller Canadian flags on their knapsacks."

Second, and I mentioned this story already on Ian's blog but enjoy it so much I'm going to write it here as well: David Bergen read from The Time in Between recently at UNB and mentioned that the day after he'd won the Giller Prize he'd been on a plane with Stephen Harper (this is mid-election campaign). Well, he didn't realize that ol' Steve was there until they deplaned to a crowd of reporters and he basically bodychecked Bergen out of the way in his hurry to get to the cameras. Turns out they were there for the Giller Award winner.

on Friday, February 3rd, jlo said

Keep it up Craig, and I'll have your english degree revoked. Then you WILL be a "former" alum.

Peace.

on Friday, February 3rd, Craig said

Hey John,

I use that same "Not to be" line, too, but mine is "Not to be an asshole..." at which point I go on to say something asshole-ish. But I do appreciate the tips; must be the English prof in you. But yes, all us former alums are united in our support of Barb (and yes, I'm aware I made the same mistake again---just to get beneath your skin, JLo my friend!)

Best, Craig.

on Friday, February 3rd, jlo said

Craig,

Not to be all english teacher on you but, "former UNB alum"--as far as I know Barb is still an alumnus of UNB. Not sure how one would get out of it?

Regardless of her status, I hope she wins. Go Barb!

on Thursday, February 2nd, Brett said

"I would've thought that, at this point, even the most inveterate liar would've come totally clean. I know I would have."

I know. Whole hog in either direction, I say. Either keep lying your face off or just lay yourself at everyone's feet and ask for wholesale mercy.

on Thursday, February 2nd, Craig said

Hey Sherry,

Yeah, she certainly does. She always worked her butt off. And I remember in our workshops a lot of people were sort of "huh?" towards her writing---which is fair, in a way, because Barb has a totally singular style---but I admire, of course, that she kept that style and is now doing so well with it. If she wins, she'll have to come up to visit you and Ian, or you'll have to go to Edmonton (last I heard she's there) and party it up like it's 1999.

Ian,

Yeah, I'm going to have to make sure that, if the collection ever does sell, it's for popcorn AND beer. And maybe pretzels and a nice used winter coat. A Triple Fat Goose winter coat. Yes, that's the ticket!

Brett,

Never saw the Oprah show, but read the transcript. Must admit, I've followed the whole thing far closer than most. I get the Publishers Weekly newsletter and yesterday there was a link to the Random House main page, where Frey's author's note is posted. I don't know---he seems unable to deliver a true mea culpa. Everything is couched and backpedalled. I would've thought that, at this point, even the most inveterate liar would've come totally clean. I know I would have.

Best, Craig.

on Thursday, February 2nd, Brett said

Whole?

WHILE.

Sigh. ;-)

on Thursday, February 2nd, Brett said

Ha! Well-played, sir. I like the "Ah, jeez" bits the best.

It's funny watching him get skewered by Oprah and all, but, you know, I really thought he'd just keep on lying (he's clearly quite good at it), instead of sitting there all sheepish whole the Big O poked and prodded him. I thought he was gonna cry. Man, it was sad.

But nonetheless enjoyable for all that!

on Wednesday, February 1st, Ian LeTourneau said

Craig, your film agent made a mistake in that imaginary conversation. He or she should have held out for beer AND popcorn. Seven bucks can't buy much beer. Perhaps you need a new agent: I hear Stephen Harper is offering $1200 for beer and popcorn up here.

on Wednesday, February 1st, Sherry said

Craig, you crack me up. If I knew you were so funny at UNB I probably would have talked to you more. Thanks for the writing updates for those of us stuck in real world 9-5 jobs. You can bet I'm sending good Karma Barb's way. She deserves it.

 
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