01/08/2007: "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"

Hi All,

So the last time I campaigned for a show it got cancelled---that being the late, great, greatly lamented ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. But I've heard some people did end up watching it on DVD and enjoying it---great job, guys; wait until something's gone and THEN start watching. What are you, ex-Hartford Whalers fans or something?

Anyway, the show I'm tendering for your consideration is not threatened by cancellation. It's been on a while, has a loyal fanbase (playing on the Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" lineup, it can get by on a loyal fanbase, whereas ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, on a big network, needed more than that. Not to go back and open up old wounds, but ... every time I see Jim Belushi or Damon Wayans' face on the TV instead of the Bluth family, a little part of me dies. Of course, I am so often affronted and horrified, I am so brittle and thin-skinned, that a little part of me dies when I leave my bread in the toaster too long and it comes out a bit burnt. I am not long for this Earth, I am afeard).

So, the show. Aqua Teen Hunger Force. ATHF to fans. It's the animated adventures of a giant meanspirited milkshake (MASTER SHAKE), a hovering pack of fries (FRYLOCK), a sweet-tempered meatball who can assume different shapes (MEATWAD), a couple of pixelated evildoers from the moon (THE MOONINITES) and the ultimate New Jerseyian (CARL, who is, for my money, the best character on the show; one of the top-5 animated characters ever).

Now the thing is, I'm very fussy about my comedies, and even moreso about my animated comedies. The most recent ones are basically a rip of the grandaddy, and my fave comedy series of all time (though some might say it's jumped the shark so many times all that's left of it is chum) THE SIMPSONS. THE FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD are such shameless rips that, despite the fact I watch them every so often and do get the odd laugh, I would think Seth McFarlane made some sort of deal with the devil along the lines of, "Give me two passably popular TV shows, Satan Lord of Darkness, and make sure nobody really says out loud what total ripoff hackery 90-odd% of them are. For this, you may have my soul, and the soul of my dog." One recent episode of AMERICAN DAD ripped off SOUTH PARK'S "World of Warcraft" episode; does anyone associated with either FG or AD have an ouce of shame?

So now that I've proved my creds as a total nerd ... oh, I haven't yet, you say? Well, okay, here's the exact scene where I realized THE SIMPSONS was my favorite show:

HOMER answers the front door. There's a guy sitting on one of those giant old-style bikes, the ones with the huge front wheels. You can't see the guy's face, as he's up to high.

GUY ON BIKE: So I hear you don't like the old-time bikes, uh?

[GUY ON BIKE kicks HOMER in the face. HOMER closes door, despondent].

And I suppose I could heighten my nerdery quotient by saying the GUY ON BIKE role is the same voice---Harry Shearer, I think---who utters all sort of "in the crowd" sayings, such as:

[To HOMER, in the episode where he gets grossly obese]: Hey, fatty, I got a movie for you: A Fridge Too Far!

[As Charles Bronson, in Death Wish 13]: Ohhh, I wish I was dead.

[As cameraman for the Krusty the Clown Show, when provoked by BART into checking out a bawdy limerick on the men's room wall]: No, no, I'm very lowbrow ... This I gotta see!

Anyhoo, after THE SIMPSONS, the list of animated shows I like is short: FUTURAMA, some of the SOUTH PARKS (despite the fact I might not always like them, this is still one of the gutsiest shows on TV), and now ATHF. I like HOMESTAR RUNNER, the website, but haven't kept up with it lately. All the Mike Judge stuff, KING OF THE HILL, BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD ... I'm glad it's out there, I don't hold antipathy towards it as I do FG and AD, but not for me. Same goes for REN AND STIMPY.

Now there are a lot of new shows on the Cartoon Network I may like, but not having that channel, I can't say.

Okay, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I'd heard about it for awhile but something about the concept---a milkshake, fries, and a meatball solving crimes or something---seemed dopey. It seemed like Saturday morning cartoons.

But please trust me, it's not.

I'm going to put a few links to episodes. I'll see if I can't get the whole episodes (increasingly difficult with YouTube). You've gotta watch the whole thing---they're only 15 min each, so you can handle it. You've got to let the concept sink under your skin and take some roots. I'm going to post the two episodes that got me hooked: "Slave Carl" and "Dickesode." It's weird at first because there's a bunch of bizarre characters flying at you, and some of the voices are rough, but if you trust your old bussy Craig I'll make a few converts. Or maybe some people reading this are already fans---I've no idea exactly how big the ATHF phenomenon is.

Listen for these gems:

SLAVE CARL:

CARL: No, I love you to Ma, I know you gotta go. Ten dollars? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa---what are you coming at me with this ten dollars business? Alright, look, we'll talk about your food situation over the holidays.

CARL [under hypnosis and slave to the Mooninites, visiting the ATHF household]: Ooooh, hey guys! I was wondering if you wouldn't mind, y'know, busting these eggs all over m'body! That's right, mat it into the chest hair!

DICKESODE:

UNDERLING [A small, mobile, vaguely Asian talking penis]: You don't think they're ... dicking around over there, do ya?

MISTER WONG BURGER [A giant talking penis building a spaceship out of severed penises ... yeah, that's not one big typo]: I doubt it. They're professional dick hunters. They crave dick. As we all do.

Yeah, baby!

Anyway, if those little teasers don't turn your crank---and if they don't what kinda prude are you, anyway?---then don't click on the links.

SLAVE CARL: www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3WTeSo8LPM
DICKESODE: www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4alJFO8ac4