06/27/2009: "Nude Sunbathers, Music, ephemera"

Hi All,

So, I'm more-or-less finished driving the bus apart from a few special route days, so I'm now into the process of cleaning my house up and getting it ready to hand over to a property management company in advance of my departure mid-July or so. I don't know where I'll wash up, exactly, but Ontario for sure, in a southernly city. I will be looking for a place to hang my hat (and other slim possessions), a job, a sense of purpose, joie de vivre, a rat and a string with which to swing it, etcetera.

But before that I've got to get this house in tip-toppish shape. That means repainting this shanty. As some may recall, I painted it a bright robin's egg blue that looked very nice in the paint store, on a little cardboard swath, but looked significatnly less impressive---hideous is one word; ghastly is another---when it ended up covering a good deal of my house. I'm not saying it's the sort of retina-searing paint color that might inspire "The Shining"-like fits of mania in future tenents ... but I'm not saying it wouldn't, either. So to avoid the lawsuits and deep and abiding guilt I decided to paint it.

And I don't really like painting, but I'm okay at it. I have that patience and a steady hand. But of course you've got to tape the baseboards, remove all the covers off the light switches and plug-ins, take down the pictures and drapes, put the giant taxidermied wildebeast in the basement so it doesn't get paint on it, etc.

So now I've got no drapes up. It's a fishbowl. So I'm painting today and gaze absentmindedly out my back porch window across the greenbelt at the house across from me. And I see ... well.

I see an older lady ... erm, sunning herself. Enjoying the springtime air. Starkers. In flagrante delicto. The way God made her. Naked as a babe ... except she way technically a babe some seven decades ago. Approximately.

I'm not saying I have anything against soaking up some rays in one's own backyard. I'm not saying that doffing your top in your own backyard is a problem. It's very ... European, sure, but what the heck do I care? If it feels right, do it, y'know? I'm just saying it was a shock. I'm looking off across my backyard, the greenbelt, the opposite fence, a decorative rock garden and---bazango! Naked flesh. Not neck flesh. Not arm flesh. Boob flesh. Nipple flesh. I mean, hey, great, good for you my dear, but I wasn't really expecting that. Who would? You look out your window and see a pair of seventy-odd year old bazooms. I mean, it was fine, as breasts go they were pretty damn nice---I'm not saying I stared, at least not anymore than was necessary to prove I wasn't hallucinating, that it wasn't the equivalent of a mammary oasis in the desert---but I was a little taken aback.

I don't have my drapes open much. Maybe that happens a lot. Maybe it's a bit of a clandestine nudist colony over there on the other side of the greenbelt. A little bit of a Gomorrah. So what? Great, so far as I'm concerned. Your kids have moved out. The grandkids aren't about. You want to go around sunning the twins or letting the old dingly-dangly out for a dingle-dangle, well, hey, I'm all for it. I'm very progressive, I'll have you know. But it'd be nice to get a little warning. It'd be nice to know you can expect to get an eyeful of ta-ta when you open your drapes, y'know?

Anyway, that's that. Here's something else.

I like to listen to songs on my computer. I use to download them but my computer got so stuffed with viruses it imploded on my desk leaving only a whiff of brimstone. Now I just find them on YouTube. It's a great place for finding tunes. Here are some I've been listening to. You'd listen to them, too, if you aren't a total wad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36U4ez7AzKA

(from Friday Night Lights. Great movie. Better book. Both are good)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj-a3WP1tsE&feature=related

(these guys rock. Hardcore. Good boob-tanning tune, I'd wager)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djqTxoCXfMY

(you might remember this one from a Sirius satellite commercial. Or maybe you live in a hole)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAZq74-Qe7g

(this one plays in the background of Al Pacino's lockerroom speech in ANY GIVEN SUNDAY. Not a great movie, but a great scene. I'm not a huge Pacino fan, but he's great in that scene ... hey, here's that scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rFx6OFooCs&feature=related ... you tell me)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ8SlelBpew

(great tune. Old song. I found their old CD cleaning up this stye.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqldwoDXHKg

(like this band. The angels at the end of the video give me nightmares)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG8fugqFn9Q

(I think the drummer is having some sort of undiagnosed medical emergency)

All best,
Craig.